Finding Balance

 

We live in a different world today than our parents and grandparents. One spouse holding down a full time job is no longer sufficient to support a family in the ways that it did 50 years ago. At the same time, the importance of spending time with family, and especially when there are young children involved, has not decreased. If anything, the importance of spending time with family has increased. All in all, this puts great demand on us.

Further compounding the situation, is that for many of us, the increased level of activity, the constant bombardment of information (TV, Internet, Phones, Social Media, etc.), our regular day to day stress, and the lack of balance and instability that life brings us causes us to fall into a sort of trap whereby our mind enters a state of constant chatter that never seems to stop. Most of society today experiences from time to time the inability to fall asleep at night because their mind simply won't stop racing.

When on top of everything else that life throws at us, we can't stop our mind from racing, we inadvertently compound the stress and problems we face until they seem to spiral out of control. When our minds are constantly consumed with unnecessary thoughts, worries, concerns, and daydreams, and all of the quiet space within our mind is consumed, this has the net effect of robbing us of both time and energy. Yes, it takes energy to think. Our mind operates on electrical impulses, and the more time operating unnecessarily, the more energy that is consumed. Although there is no "Magic Bullet" there are several things you can do, and following a spiritual path that includes self awareness training is extremely beneficial.

 One of Einstein's contributions to the world was showing us that time and space are inextricably linked. When the mind creates space (through letting go of discursive thought), that space takes the mind out of time (imagined time of the future and past) and into the present. Discursive thought is robbing us of both time and energy. The discursive thought exists in our mind with a very heavy time component. I you look at your thoughts, the ones that seem to flow from nowhere and catch our attention, dragging us along with them, you will find two qualities that are always present. They are always about "Me" or "Mine" or "I" or some version of the self (Ego), and always have a time component, either past or future. This is especially true of mind theatrics such as daydreaming.

The only way to combat this problem is learning to become aware of our thoughts and bring them under control, eventually putting an end to them. The best place to learn this is in meditation. Although meditation is taking time out of your day, in the long run, it is creating time and space for your life to flow in the manner you would like it to. You don't have to start off trying to dedicate a great deal of time to it. Far more important is regularity. Try and make it a habit like brushing your teeth and start of with even as little as 5-10 minutes either very first thing in the morning when your mind is fresh and not fully awake yet, or 5-10 minutes right before you go to bed when your mind is tired from the day. Better yet would be if you can do both. As you begin to make meditation a regular part of your day, space (and thus time) will begin to open up in your life. As discursive thought begins to subside, the rest of your thought patterns become more focused and productive, and your energy and enthusiasm toward life will increase.

Here are a few simple exercises that you can do at anytime and don't really require much time. The first is basically an active meditation. Anytime you are feeling stressed and anytime you can remember to, place as much awareness as possible into 3 or 4 breaths. Practice this in this manner: Locate your breath's neutral spot. When you inhale then exhale, at the end of an exhale is a neutral point where you can simply let your lungs rest comfortably. This will be the starting point for your exercise. From the neutral point, placing as much attention and concentration as you can into your breath (which is needed to do this exercise properly) exhale first as fully as you can, then inhale past your neutral point to a normal inhalation, then exhale back to the neutral spot. Pause briefly at the neutral spot and repeat this another 2 or 3 times. If this is done properly, the attention required to focus on this reverse breathing technique will momentarily disperse thought.

The second simple exercise, recalling that time and space are linked, look for space wherever you can find it, the space that surrounds you, the space that occurs as gaps in conversations, and especially the space that occurs as gaps between thoughts. Become aware of it. The gaps between thoughts are easiest to spot when something awe inspiring like a sunset or a waterfall or a vista in nature catch your attention. The more you practice becoming aware of finding space, the better you will become at finding it. This space again is outside of discursive thought and thus will also have a balancing effect in your life.

As you find space, you will find time. As you find time, you will find balance.

Michael L. Fournier