Enlightenment Through Self Awareness: 2012

Memory and Self Awareness

What is the role of memory in Self Awareness and Enlightenment? Does it serve a purpose? Or is it a hindrance?

As we progress through life we are constantly experiencing new phenomenon, and through the process of judging, we give certain phenomenon higher priority in our memory storage system. The problem most of us have with memory is that we judge nearly everything we experience. We like, dislike, want, don't want, call it good, bad, etc. and inadvertently give everything higher priority than it requires, which then causes confusion to the recall process, and often causes inner conflict as well.

To understand memory, it is best to view it with an analogy. Memory is like a huge underground catacomb of storage rooms filled with filing cabinets, stacked up row upon row, aisle after aisle. Every judgement we make creates an entry that has to be stored and filed away. The ones we find most significant, or have the greatest impact upon us, are given the highest priority. This priority filing system is based upon individual (what the Ego wants) preference.

A filing system built on priority quickly looses efficiency as the size of the filing system grows. It quickly becomes difficult to properly assess what is stored at what priority level. This means more time looking for the file, and increases the chances of being distracted by other files that have to be searched along the way. In the real world, a small priority based filing system, such as for bills at home will work OK, but a large filing system such as in businesses or hospital can not function this way and requires something more logical such as alphabetical. Our memory system is far more vast than any filing system in any office or on any computer.

We are adding new entries into our storage system on a continuous basis, causing our memory system to grow beyond easy retrieval. Every moment of our lives presents a new opportunity to create a new judgement and a new prioritized memory. To further complicate this, prioritizing allows our most important memories to surface spontaneously. They appear as discursive Egoic thought patterns, warning us of perceived danger, and reminding us of what we want to attract into our life. In other words, they set up our patterns of desire and aversion.

As well, when a discursive thought appears in our consciousness, it is like an invitation to enter the catacombs, browse through our memories, and use the material stored within to project into our mind theatre a different version of reality. This is what daydreams and fantasies are. We can find ourselves, if we are not aware of our thoughts, lost in the catacombs for long periods of time. Many of us find that we are on a constant cycle of entering into this fantasy world only to emerge and re-enter on the next discursive thought that emerges.

When one has learned Self Awareness, one recognizes when they have entered the catacombs, consciously chooses to exit, and instead prefers to remain fully present, in the Here and Now. As well, a Self Aware person is conscious of any thought patterns that occur, and avoids the process of judging. By not judging, new memories are no longer prioritized in a way that will allow them to re-emerge as unsolicited discursive thoughts. In Eastern philosophy, they are not creating any new karma.

Memory still exists and can still be retrieved when required, but without the prioritization caused by preference. This can be thought of as being a more logical filing system. The system now allows retrieval of what needs to be retrieved and becomes easier to find what is being sought because the entire system becomes organized in a logical format rather than a priority basis.

Michael L. Fournier

Boredom

Boredom is nothing more than a mental fabrication from a mind that is expressing its displeasure at not being entertained. When an undisciplined mind has been allowed to continuously run free and wild, and suddenly runs out of things to entertain it, it finds itself unable to deal with quietude. It has become too accustomed to continuous activity, thoughts, daydreams, fantasies, and various other forms of mind theatrics. Boredom can therefore be thought of as a symptom of a mind in need of discipline.

To one who practices self awareness diligently, boredom is not a problem. Boredom is the mind saying "Give me something to entertain me". When one is diligently watching thoughts as they arise, and looking into their nature, and contemplating their causes and effects, the mind is fully occupied and entertained, even if the body is doing nothing. When the mind is occupied, it can not get bored.

When the mind falls quiet, there again can be no boredom, since boredom is nothing but a string of thoughts saying "Entertain Me". No thoughts, no boredom! Silence is Golden!

Poet Dorothy Parker said "The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity." So why not apply your curiosity to the inner workings of the mind, and see through the illusion of self, clean up a few self defeating mental patterns along the way, and put an end to boredom.

Michael L. Fournier

Heel

In many ways, training the mind to become quiet and remain in the present is a lot like training a dog to heel. You must keep it on a tight leash and not let it stray. You must be very vigilant in your training. If the dog is allowed to get away with negative behaviour, it will be harder to correct later.

Your mind, like a dog, wants to wander off, run free, sniff around to see what scents it can follow, and chase everything it encounters. You must learn to be in control, you must learn to be the master of your own mind.

The dog pulling forward is like a mind thinking about the future. A dog lagging behind is like the mind slipping into the past. The master must constantly tug at the leash to remind the dog to stay with you. Tug on the leash of the mind to keep pulling it back to the present moment of pure awareness.

This is real meditative practice. Don't give the mind any slack. When ever it tugs to pull away from the present moment, pull it back. Practice this continuously and diligently and eventually the mind will obey. When proficient with watching the mind at this level during meditation, transition your practise to incorporate it into your daily life as well. Bringing the meditative practice out into the world is the real goal of learning this process in the first place, just as the true goal of teaching a dog to heel is so that he will obey when walking out in public.

With repeated practice, the dog, and the mind will learn the obedience required to stay where it should be. After a while, the leash will be only symbolically held in place, the mind will come to know that "You are holding the other end" . With sufficient diligence of practice, eventually the leash will no longer be required.

Michael L. Fournier

Who Am I?

Perhaps one of the deepest existential questions is "Who Am I?" The answer to the question of who one truly is lies outside of the thinking mind's ability to comprehend. The thinking mind itself, and this includes the Ego, is nothing more than a collection of conditioned ideas, words and thoughts that are running inside the mind much like a computer program running on a computer. The thinking mind trying to comprehend "Who Am I?" is like a computer program trying to comprehend what a computer is, and what an electrical power grid is that powers a computer.

This does not mean that one can not directly discover who they really are, but to do so requires moving outside of the conventional thought patterns that define ones self. This is best done by examining "Who I Am Not!"

First lets examine the Ego. The Ego is an ever changing collection of thoughts and images one has of their self. These thoughts are constructed upon judgements and impressions one has based upon their life experiences, and on identification or rejection of other peoples opinions of them. The Ego is so fluid that it can change to an exact opposite view of itself in the flash of a moment. There is nothing of substance, nothing concrete at all about the Ego. The Ego can be easily transcended and left behind by anyone who undertakes such practice. Anyone who has the ability to enter and maintain a completely silent mind has experienced a state in which the Ego does not exist, even if just for that short period of time. If one was the Ego, then such a practice would result in one ceasing to exist. It is quite safe to conclude that one's true self is not the Ego.

And what of the body we inhabit. If we were the body itself, then the loss of a limb or body part would amount to a partial loss of the self. Yet this is not the case. Throughout history, not one autopsy ever performed has turned up anything that can be labelled as the person's self. Even when we search within our own sense of the body, looking for where our Self seems to exist, it can not be definitively pinpointed. There is a sense of the self around the area of the heart, but nothing physical or concrete. One's perception of self is centred in the heart yet ones thoughts of self are centred in the brain. No evidence of self can be found in the body.

And what of the mind and brain? Our mind goes completely silent and seems to cease existing during sleep. There are numerous accounts of people who wake up from comas after having been pronounced brain dead. If their self existed purely in the mind, then in these situations the self again would cease. The self is not the mind.

To paraphrase from Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, "In searching for the truth, when all of the impossibilities have been eliminated, then whatever remains must be the truth." We all have something within us that we can sense to be an unchanging sense of Self, something that hasn't changed for as long as we can remember. This awareness of Self exists outside of thought and can only be directly encountered when thought subsides. Deep introspection and contemplation of "Who I Am Not" is the doorway into reconnecting with "Who I Am". Sustained Pure Awareness, as encountered with the silent mind is the reunification with the True Self.

Michael L. Fournier

Religion

The criteria by which most people in the world today choose their religion is not really a matter of choice. They come into their religion by being born into it. It is the religion that their parents, grandparents and generations before have belonged to.

From the time they are young, there are indoctrinated into that religion, being taught all of the intricacies and beliefs of that religion. The natural tendency of human nature is to want to believe that we are always right, and therefore, there is a tendency toward believing that the religion one follows must also, therefore, be right. After all, everyone wants to believe that their parents, grandparents, teachers and religious leaders would not ever steer them wrong.

This in turn poses a problem. Followers of all religions want to believe that their "chosen" religion is the right path, which by default, infers that the others must therefore be wrong. Such beliefs serve only to divide mankind rather than unite. Such divisions have, throughout the history of mankind, led to many conflicts, disagreements, and arguments, not to mention some of the planets most devastating wars. Ironically, these divisions and conflicts run contrary to the core teachings of most, if not all, religions; teachings include things like love thy fellow man, or love thy neighbour. How can anyone love their neighbour at the same time as entering into conflict and war over whose religion is right or wrong?

Further complicating the matter is religious leaders, in an attempt to deepen their understanding of their own religion, undertake to learn about other religions. More often than not, they do not enter this undertaking with an open mind. They are not there to truly attempt to understand the other religion, but rather to seek out its flaws, and anything that runs contrary to their own beliefs, so that they can in turn pass on that information to their followers. Rarely if ever, does one look at their own religion with the same critical eye. Rather than trying to understand any flaws or conflicts within their own "chosen" path, it becomes easier to treat them as simply a matter of "faith".

Examining other religions with a totally open mind, and a valid attempt to understand what they are about, especially when examining the deepest core beliefs, rather than man's interpretations of the teachings, can show a very different picture than what is painted by a religious leader trying to point out fault. Rather than trying to find fault with other religions, why not look for what they have in common? Most major religions are in agreement over many things; that there is more to man than meets the eye, that there is a greater power behind the creation of all things, that we need to love and respect our fellow man, that we should all live by a code of ethics, and that we must all take responsibility for our own thoughts, ideas, and actions.

When we live our life in accordance to all that is common to these religions, we begin to see and understand that embracing the commonality of religions, while still respecting the differences in methodology, can serve to unite mankind. Only when we unite as a race of beings, embracing our similarities and respecting our differences, will we ever be able to truly move into a world of peace that we all seek.

Michael L. Fournier

There are no bad guys!

Try and visualize in your mind the following scenario; you pick up the newspaper and read an article about a parent performing some horrific atrocity to a child. The police arrest the individual, who in turn accuses the police officer of police brutality.

Examine what thoughts, feelings and emotions you would likely experience as you read the article. Is there a tendency to judge the parent and in what way? What about the police officer? What emotions are felt toward the child? A common range of thoughts and emotions might go something like this; anger and outrage toward the parent, perhaps a strong sense of violation of the boundaries between right and wrong, a need to see justice? What about the police officer? Was he justified in bringing about some form of justice in a broken judicial system, or perhaps you feel he should also be punished because there are too many instances of police vigilanteism. Are there emotions tugging at your heart in sympathy for the child? How can there not be, after all the child did not deserve this.

Now lets re-examine from a self awareness stand point. When the above scenario was observed from a position of Ego, a great deal of thoughts, and emotions can quickly be observed. What thoughts and emotions you felt are a direct result of your own personal conditioning and views toward the world. Where one person may have felt anger and outrage toward the parent, another may have felt curiosity as to what brought a parent to this point. Whether you saw the police officer's actions as justifiable or reprehensible is again based on your own personal conditioning. Many of the thoughts feelings and emotions were likely to have had a very uncomfortable quality to them, especially if anger or outrage was among them.

These thoughts, feelings and emotions have a physical quality to them that do not feel very comfortable within us. They may even have a negative impact upon our physical well-being due to the stresses they produce. Now aside from that, what impact or benefit do they have on the parent, child or police officer? None! No matter what thoughts, feelings or emotions we may choose to engage in, none of them can undo what has been done, or help or change the situation in any way. Perhaps it may motivate someone to take action, but if action is taken from a position of strong emotion, its action can only lead to outcomes similar to the way the police officer handled the situation.

Now lets look at the what would happen if we had read the news article from a position of non-judgement and acceptance, in other words, not allowing any thought formations whatsoever to arise out of the situation. We would not have created any ill will, negative thoughts, or uncomfortable feelings within ourself. The event would simply have been an event that occurred. Feelings of love, and empathy for the child may still motivate you to take action to help the child, but now it can be done without the negative components that can cause irrational behaviour. If this were the position from which the police officer was operating, he would have simply done his job, the parent would simply have been arrested and brought in to custody. From there he would have been able to leave it up to the rest of the justice system to do the best job they are able.

A position of curiosity toward the parent might leave one wondering what drove the parent to commit the atrocity in the first place. Each and every one of us has had to face situations and events throughout our lives that cause us to act and react in certain ways. This is true for the parent as well. He or she may have been abused as a child, or witnessed horrific events in their youth. Something in their past has led to their actions.

A scenario laid out in this fashion shows the value of learning to become self aware. If we who practice self awareness and meditation for the purpose of transcending Ego find it to be a challenging task, what right then do we have to judge another person, one for whom self awareness may not even be a possibility. If we who are trapped in our Ego and are aware of it have difficulty controlling it, how then, can we expect someone else to be able to do so.

Compassion and empathy in turn seem to be the only healthy feelings one can harbour toward all parties involved, not just the child. Only when self awareness becomes so mainstream that every human on the planet practices it, and it is in turn taught in schools to our youth, can we expect to see violence, hatred, and anger start to disappear from the planet, and for the human race to evolve into a world of peace. As Ghandi said "Be the change you would like to see in the world"

Michael L. Fournier

Positive and Negative Energy Flow

When we examine those individuals that seem to have the most energy, it becomes quickly obvious that they also tend to have the most positive attitudes in life. It could also be said that those with the most positive attitudes tend to be the most energetic. Either way, the two go hand in hand. Looking at the opposite side of the spectrum, it is also observed that those individuals with the most negative attitudes tend to have the lowest energy levels.

There seems to be an obvious relationship between attitude and energy level. This in turn poses the question as to how they are related. We have to start by recognizing that this universe is more about energy than we tend to think it is. Einstein recognized this relationship when he developed the formula
E=MC² or Energy = Mass x Speed of Light.

All that we perceive as solid is made of atoms, which are nothing more than tiny particles of concentrated energy. The speed at which the electrons circle the nucleus of an atom, (the speed of light) is what allows these masses of energy to appear solid. The atom actually is comprised mostly of empty space. To gain perspective, if the nucleus were blown up to be the size of a tennis ball, the electrons would be orbiting about a kilometer away. It is energy that keeps the electrons in orbit around the nucleus.

Putting all of this in perspective, the physical self that we perceive to be solid is ultimately constructed and held together by energy. We would not be incorrect in thinking of ourselves as energy beings, or as conduits through which energy can flow.

Energy can be of either a positive or a negative nature. We have the ability to make a conscious choice as to what polarity of energy we wish to have flow through us. Thoughts ultimately are just another form of energy, and as such they are the determining factor over which polarity of energy flows through us, positive or negative. We have the ability to choose, and to control which thoughts we wish to give our energy and attention to and thereby which direction our energy flows. Think of a battery, where the positive terminal is an outflow of energy. The negative terminal is an inflow of energy. Positive thoughts are a source of positive energy, and feeling the wonderful effects of positive energy can in turn bring about more positive thoughts. Negative thoughts are a great consumer of energy, leaving one feeling drained. As one experiences too much draining of energy, thoughts can easily turn toward the negative, further perpetuating the downward spiral of energy.

Negative energy and attitude can be thought of as flowing backwards, through us and into a vortex-like black hole. People with an extremely negative energy flow are sometimes referred to as social vampires, as they seem to just suck the life out of everyone and everything around them. Often, they are not even aware of what their own mental state is.

When we allow positive energy to flow outwards through us and into the world it has a positive effect on our mental attitude. Likewise, having a positive attitude will polarize our energy to the positive. The more we focus our thoughts and attitudes in a positive direction, such as with the energies of Love, Kindness, Compassion, etc., the more positive energy, and in turn Joy, will flow into our life.

The next time you feel like your energy reserves are low, stop and examine your state of mind and attitude. A simple shift in attitude, and perhaps even a few random acts of kindness can work wonders for your energy level.

Michael L. Fournier

The Subconscious Mind

Our subconscious is not something we were born with any more than is our Ego. They developed hand in hand, starting from our early childhood. When we were born, we had no frame of reference to base our likes, dislikes, wants, don't wants, safe, unsafe, nor any other mental concepts. As our awareness of the environment began to develop, so too did our ability to judge that environment. Learning to judge and discern our environment allowed us to discern things we liked from things that could bring us harm. The volume of those judgements were too numerous to retain in our conscious awareness, and so we had to commit them to memory in a way that allowed them to resurface when we needed them most.

This repository of judgements is our subconscious. It is also the source of our Ego. Our Ego is really nothing more than a collection of thoughts and judgements we have formed about ourselves, about who we think we are, about how we think we fit into our environment and how we think others perceive us. Since all of these things are constantly changing and evolving, they really have very little to do with who we really are.

As we proceed through life, we continue to deposit judgement after judgement into this repository, and because this special form of memory is intended to help us discern our environment, we are in turn subjected to a constant barrage of prejudgements, resurfacing from the subconscious, to steer us away from harm and toward that which we prefer. It operates like a feedback loop.

The problem we run into is that we are constantly feeding new instructions into this feedback loop system on an ongoing basis, by constantly judging, and re-judging, and we never do anything to empty it out. When these feedback loops, designed to keep us safe, run unchecked, they can quickly spiral out of control and lead to problems like irrational fears, anxieties, and a whole range of unwanted emotions.

Because these judgements are constantly being heaped upon, and allowed to fester and grow without any sort of checks and balances or controls in place, our subconscious can be thought of as a cesspool of mental activity just waiting to bubble up into our consciousness. This is the source of our constant flow of thoughts that seem to continuously pervade the mind. We have allowed it to grow so extensively that it has little choice but to free flow into our consciousness.

While this egoic level of subconscious activity was essential for our early development, discerning right from wrong and safe from harmful, it is not essential in adult life and can even prove harmful. As adults, we know what we like and don't like, what is safe and what is harmful, what we want and don't want. We no longer require a constant onslaught of discursive thought to remind us.

The only way to clean out this cesspool is to create space through quieting the conscious mind, and then allowing this cesspool to bubble forth into consciousness without further adding to it. This is the Self Awareness practice of watching our thoughts. We simply allow the thoughts to surface, see them for what they are, and allow them to pass into oblivion by not indulging them to see where they lead.

When we do not indulge our thoughts and do not judge them, they do not re-enter the feedback loop system. When we stop feeding them, they stop growing, and will eventually shrivel and die. Since this is the source of Ego, the Ego will also shrivel and die, so long as Self Awareness is practised with sufficient diligence. The most important part of this practice is to NEVER JUDGE our thoughts since judgement is the gateway back into the feedback loop system.

Michael L. Fournier